THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

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Bill Would Put Slot Machines In Funeral Homes

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(HARRISBURG) – In his latest attempt to expand gaming in Pennsylvania, House Majority Leader Bill DeWeese (D-Greene) announced he’s drafting a bill that would allow slot machines to be installed in funeral homes.

“Slots parlors and funeral parlors are a natural pairing,” DeWeese said. “What we have here is the opportunity to build tax relief from people’s grief.”

The Democrat was quick to add that his measure will contain important stipulations. “For example, one provision will make it clear that all gambling must take place at least 50 feet from the nearest corpse.”

DeWeese said the bill will also provide for free alcoholic beverages at funeral homes with slot machines. “Only they won’t be served by chicks in little frilly skirts,” he added.

Governor Ed Rendell said he will fully support the proposal. “People at a funeral or memorial service are at a gray point in their lives. But you put them in front of a slot machine and they’re happy. They have fun. They see the bright lights. They hear music. They forget about the dead guy in the box and are instead filled with brightness and cheer.”

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Written by centralpagazelle

June 5, 2007 at 8:21 pm

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