THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

A look at what isn't making news across the midstate

Archive for July 2007

Man Attends PrideFest ‘Just For The Food’

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(HARRISBURG) – Jim Strayer of Lemoyne attended the Pride Festival of Central Pennsylvania this weekend, but only because he really likes the food, he said. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 29, 2007 at 9:44 pm

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Gray Checks Into Rehab For Goofy Bowtie Addiction

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(LANCASTER) – Mayor Rick Gray checked himself into a rehabilitation center for what one aide called his “uncontrollable propensity to wear tacky bowties every blessed day.” Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 24, 2007 at 10:18 pm

Harrisburg Imposes Robbery Tax

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(HARRISBURG) – Calling it the latest in a series of innovative revenue initiatives, Harrisburg Mayor Stephen Reed today approved a new ordinance taxing all proceeds on robberies and muggings. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 18, 2007 at 9:49 pm

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Man Taken Aback By Hot Coworker’s Flatulence

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(LEBANON) – Wal-Mart clerk Rodney Esbenshade said he had lost what at one time were feelings of “animal lust” for coworker Ashley Collins after hearing her fart today. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 15, 2007 at 9:45 pm

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Law Moves Up Pennsylvania’s Presidential Primary To Tomorrow

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(HARRISBURG) – In an attempt to increase Pennsylvania’s relevance in the presidential race, the General Assembly today passed a measure that moves the commonwealth’s primary up from next April to tomorrow. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 12, 2007 at 11:45 pm

Letters To D. Editor

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[In response to “Gypsy Moth Caterpillars Take Toll On Knoll” of 6/18/07]
That’s got to be a sight! I imagine the security forces at the Gap can’t wait for the swim season to begin. Knoll in her thong bikini at the pool — covered with caterpillars.
B.S. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 12, 2007 at 9:57 pm

State Hookers Among Employees Facing Furlough

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(HARRISBURG) – Hookers on the commonwealth’s payroll said they plan to work overtime and turn as many tricks as possible this weekend in anticipation of a partial government shutdown. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

July 6, 2007 at 10:01 pm

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