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Hample Stepping Down To Spend More Time With Her Money

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(HARRISBURG) – State System of Higher Education Chancellor Judy Hample said her recent decision to resign her post is rooted in a desire to spend more time spending money.

“Here I’ve been making approximately $3,466,101,012 a year, yet I haven’t been taking the time to spend it,” Hample said. “Well, that’s about to change.”

“I also wanted to give my underlings plenty of time to plan my going-away party,” the outgoing chancellor said. “It will most likely take the form of a lavish gala at which I will make [system board president] Ken Jarin wear a bondage harness and allow me to ride him around the room.”

In her spare time, Hample plans to maintain her contract work as Smiley, the Hatfield Quality Meats mascot.

Written by centralpagazelle

July 5, 2007 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

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