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Muggers Make Off With TV Meteorologist’s Lips

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(LANCASTER) – Perpetrators approached WGAL-TV Meteorologist Matt Ritter in a city alley over the weekend and robbed him of his lips, police said.

“It’s one of the more unusual crimes we’ve seen lately,” said Sgt. Bill Gleason. “It ranks right up there with the guy in a [commissioner] Dick Shellenberger mask who holds up pharmacies, stealing their entire supply of KY Jelly. At least we think it’s a mask, anyway.”

“Matt didn’t really have very supple lips to begin with,” said WGAL News Director Dan O’Donnell. “We hired him with the realization that most people would see past that, much like Dr. John Scala’s hair.”

Anyone who witnessed Saturday night’s robbery or may know anything regarding the whereabouts of Ritter’s lips is asked to call police.


Written by centralpagazelle

August 19, 2007 at 9:24 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , ,

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