THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

A look at what isn't making news across the midstate

Archive for October 2012

Completely Straight Republican Spends Night Jerking Off To Paul Ryan

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(LEBANON) – David Litzbaugh, a self-identified heterosexual Republican, said he spent much of last night jerking off to what he called a “superb debate performance” by GOP vice presidential hopeful Paul Ryan. Read the rest of this entry »

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Written by centralpagazelle

October 12, 2012 at 9:12 am

Judge: Voters Lacking ID Must Vote Naked

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(HARRISBURG) – Commonwealth Court Judge Robert Simpson ruled today that Pennsylvanians who lack an acceptable form of photo ID will be required to strip naked before voting on November 6. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

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Casey Hastily Launches Reelection Campaign After Learning Of Upcoming Election

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(WASHINGTON) – After suddenly realizing today that he is up for reelection in just over five weeks, Senator Bob Casey (D-PA) began scrambling to put together his reelection campaign. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

October 1, 2012 at 7:03 pm

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