THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

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Fire Crews Hose Down TV Anchor Dennis Owens Amid Fit Of Election Night Euphoria

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(HARRISBURG) – Fire crews were reportedly called to the studios of WHTM-TV abc27 this evening to hose down a frantic Dennis Owens, who was apparently overcome by election night euphoria.

One newsroom source who asked not to be named said the news anchor “suddenly became unbelievably jubilant, running around like a whirling dervish,” high-fiving interns and throwing computer monitors on the floor.

“It’s election night! Can you fucking believe it?” Owens was heard exclaiming. He then reportedly stood on top of a producer’s desk, ripped off his jacket, tie, dress shirt and undershirt, and screamed “Who wants to feel these pecks? Come on! Which of you bitches wants to be first to feel my fucking chest?”

One newsroom staffer who snuck out of the room and called 911 said she hadn’t seen anything like it “since the Rick Wagner methamphetamine episode of 1994.”

Upon arrival, firefighters dragged Owens into the parking lot and doused him with approximately 20,000 gallons of water. Owens regained consciousness and changed clothes in time for the 10:30 p.m. election update on WHTM.

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Written by centralpagazelle

November 6, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

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