THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

A look at what isn't making news across the midstate

Archive for December 2012

PennDOT Says It’s ‘Extremely Unprepared’ For Weekend Snowstorm

leave a comment »

saltpile_1(LEWISBERRY) – Standing next to a pile of road salt that he described as “terribly inadequate,” state Secretary of Transportation Barry Schoch said his agency is “woefully unprepared” for the snowstorm that could hit the region with as much as four inches of snow over the weekend. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

December 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

Blitzen Euthanized On Rooftop Of Camp Hill Home

with one comment

Blitzen(CAMP HILL) – Christmas Eve turned tragic when the usually jolly Santa Claus was forced to put down one of his reindeer after it suffered a leg injury during what a spokesman called “a rough landing on a metal roof.” Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

December 25, 2012 at 6:30 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Mayor Thompson Releases Annual Holiday Greeting

leave a comment »

(Linda-Thompson_MayorHARRISBURG) – Mayor Linda Thompson today released her annual holiday greeting. Here is the text of the mayor’s message. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

December 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Hookers And Blow Win Out Again At This Year’s Pennsylvania Society Gathering

leave a comment »

Waldorf-Astoria(NEW YORK, NY) – Drugs, alcohol, vomit and a mysterious prostitute death were among the highlights of the opulent Pennsylvania Society gathering attended by the state’s political elite over the weekend. Here is a timeline of notable events from the weekend-long soiree, which took place at and around the posh Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

December 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm

School District Removes Fart-Lighting From Science Curriculum After Fireball Incident

leave a comment »

fireball_1The Carlisle Area School Board voted last night to forbid teachers from lighting farts after last week’s flatulence fireball incident at Wilson Middle School. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

December 7, 2012 at 9:30 am

YSO Announces Vacancy For Principal Trianglist

leave a comment »

triangleThe York Symphony Orchestra has announced plans to hold auditions for the position of principal trianglist. The vacancy was created by the recent tragic death of principal trianglist Arnold Flappenstüber, who fell into a pit of alligators during an unusually realistic performance of Jaxs Powell’s opera Albino Alligator. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

December 3, 2012 at 6:01 pm

%d bloggers like this: