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Blitzen Euthanized On Rooftop Of Camp Hill Home

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Blitzen(CAMP HILL) – Christmas Eve turned tragic when the usually jolly Santa Claus was forced to put down one of his reindeer after it suffered a leg injury during what a spokesman called “a rough landing on a metal roof.”

The incident happened at approximately 10:45 p.m. at a home on Willow Avenue near Lincoln Street in Camp Hill.

“Metal roofs are fucking hell on reindeer hoofs,” Claus said. “They’re so rigid. We’ve had them cause shin-splints on my reindeer before but never an injury this severe.”

After it was obvious that Blitzen’s leg was fractured, Claus euthanized the reindeer with a single bullet to the head, then pushed the carcass off the roof and into the yard below.

“Rudolph was beside himself as he really considered Blitzen to be a mentor,” Vixen said. “I guess this was Blitzen’s last lesson to him: shit happens.”

This is not the first snag that Santa Claus has encountered in the midstate. In 2008, he was arrested for DUI while practicing takeoffs and landings at Harrisburg International Airport.


Written by centralpagazelle

December 25, 2012 at 6:30 am

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. Santa do things that way

    Ricky Ritzel Sr.

    August 24, 2014 at 5:07 pm

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