THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

A look at what isn't making news across the midstate

Trump Ignites Dreams For Entire Generation of Racist, Misogynist, Sociopathic Assholes

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boys-554644_1920Young white male douchebags who have dreamed about parlaying their extreme dislike for others into a political career are full of hope and validated aspirations today, thanks to the election of Donald Trump as the next president of the United States.

By defeating Democrat Hillary Clinton, Trump reinforced the value of white privilege that countless young people hope to someday cash in on their gradual ascent, possibly even to the highest office in the land.

“Ever since [President Barack] Obama was elected, I feel like my family and I have had to wait longer for tables at restaurants,” said Trevor, 12, a white kid from Palmyra, Lebanon County, who declined to give his last name. “Now, I have hope that the privilege I’d done nothing to earn but had grown to expect nonetheless is revitalized. Plus, those Muslims have to go.”

Many white parents across central Pennsylvania reportedly woke up their children early this morning, giddy to share the news that how they treat people who are different from them no longer matters.

“I couldn’t wait! I had to wake up Paige and Jonathan at 5 a.m. and tell them the good news that their race is back in control of the White House,” said Tanya, one such mother from Marysville, Perry County, who declined to provide a last name. “After this election, I feel like America really is post-racial.”

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Written by centralpagazelle

November 9, 2016 at 2:04 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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