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Local Woman Stuffs Recalled Turkey With Recalled Romaine Lettuce, Poisoning Guests

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(WORMLEYSBURG) – E. coli was the featured dish on Phoebe Boxcutter’s Thanksgiving table, after she served guests a recalled turkey stuffed with recalled romaine lettuce.

Police arrested Boxcutter after a dozen people — identified as family, friends and others who had disagreed with her political views on social media — were transported from her home to area hospitals complaining of stomach pain, projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea.

Boxcutter reportedly told police that cleaning up her house will be enough punishment for any crime. But after their investigation, police decided to charge her with 12 counts of attempted homicide by turkey and intentional infliction of intestinal distress.

While being led into a local judicial center for her arraignment, Boxcutter quipped: “At least I’ll have fewer mouths to feed next Thanksgiving.”

Written by centralpagazelle

November 23, 2018 at 3:49 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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