THE CENTRAL PA GAZELLE

A look at what isn't making news across the midstate

Posts Tagged ‘Cumberland County

School District Removes Fart-Lighting From Science Curriculum After Fireball Incident

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fireball_1The Carlisle Area School Board voted last night to forbid teachers from lighting farts after last week’s flatulence fireball incident at Wilson Middle School. Read the rest of this entry »

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Written by centralpagazelle

December 7, 2012 at 9:30 am

Financial Experts: ‘Okay, Go Ahead And Panic’

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(UNDATED) – Financial advisers across central Pennsylvania are reaching consensus that the nation’s financial turmoil has reached levels that cannot be dealt with through rational actions and that Americans should begin to panic. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

October 7, 2008 at 9:06 pm

Campaign Urges Strangers To ‘Fondle My Funbags’

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(NEW CUMBERLAND) – A non-profit group today launched a breast cancer awareness effort designed to rival the “Feel Your Boobies” campaign.
Participants in “Fondle My Funbags” wear t-shirts emblazoned with the title slogan, encouraging other people to give them spontaneous breast exams. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

September 30, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Crooks Plan To Sneak In Your Back Door On National Night Out

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While communities across the midstate are warming up for Tuesday’s National Night Out Against Crime, burglars said they were poised to step up their efforts that night, as well. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

August 3, 2008 at 1:19 pm

Beers and Spears

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BEERS…to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for agreeing to take part in the Compassion Forum, an event right in our back yards that will focus on religion. If there’s one thing we small-town Central Pennsylvania folk cling to more than our guns it’s the baby Jesus, and the lack of mentions said savior has been receiving on the campaign trail has been a sin. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

April 13, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Eat’n Park Carries On Schoolgirl Night Tradition

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(NEW CUMBERLAND) – Less than two weeks after the Hooters restaurant on the Carlisle Pike ditched ‘Schoolgirl Thursday’ amid public outrage, the Eat’n Park restaurant on Limekiln Road outside New Cumberland has picked up the baton. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

June 23, 2007 at 9:12 pm

Camp Hill Lifts Travel Ban To Harrisburg

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(CAMP HILL) – Camp Hill Mayor Lou Thieblemont today signed a resolution lifting the 1982 ban that had prevented borough residents from traveling to Harrisburg. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by centralpagazelle

May 5, 2007 at 10:58 am

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