Local Cold Weather Snap Proves Global Warming Over, Experts Say

Scientists across the world reached consensus today that the snow and frigid temperatures being experienced in central Pennsylvania serve as legitimate proof that global warming no longer exists anywhere in the world.

Sheep Looks Back On Blissful, Sex-Free Week At Farm Show

A local sheep noted today how much he enjoyed the eight days he spent at the 98^th Pennsylvania Farm Show, which he referred to as “a much-welcomed reprieve from sexual intercourse on a secluded farm.”